it's almost Christmas ... tomorrow actually ... but why don't I fill excited? ... I actually missed the old me. to be honest I've been a wreck this year. back to be a smoker .. got reall fat (I weigh 88kg now .. bad bad bad!) ... I can't remember the last time I went to Church ... Sunday usually is bed time for me. Man!! ... why? .. lazyness I guess .. I no longer have my motorcycle ... I'm mad with my self. I used to be a tough girl and take care of my self .. but then .. I just .. argh .. you know what I want for Christmas? ... or new year present? ... be alone again, and get close to God again, like I used to. be the person that I've been raised. I missed me ... I want my life back. It doesn't mean that I don't love him anymore, I just need my life back. and be a better me.